With This My One Life

I am intending a few many things. It isn’t that what manifests is excessive, or even greater in number than what one might mean by such a word—many. It is instead about the potency of the intentions I intend. Sometimes one singular thing can be the weightiest. It’s like the invisible, yet very present energy that can be felt in a room. How does one explain energy?

I get this one life. That’s it. That’s all. It’s rather deep when I think about it. The way it creeps up on me in moments, such as this one now. I reached for my laptop and set it on the ottoman in front of me. In case inspiration is perishable after all. Yes, Naval Ravikant. Yes.

What am I doing with this one wild and precious life? I’ve been thinking about Mary Oliver. She’s stayed with me like a familiar scent after watching the documentary… I immediately ordered 12 Moons. I want to start at the beginning.

Often, we skip the beginning. Something comes later that leads us back there, and only then do we wonder what was there in the first place. But rarely do we ever go to the start of the beginning. When was the last time I revisited the seventies? I want to know Mary, as much as I am able. She has words to be heard, rhythms and cadences to offer.

Cadence reminds me of the other day, on Zoom, where I found myself participating in an open mic featuring Journey. She has cadences upon cadences. I’ve never encountered a resonance quite like hers. It’s deep. Visceral. I am not surprised to hear self-describe as a recluse. There has always been brilliance to be found in the quiet-loud of one’s solitude. I know a bit about it.

I prefer the loudness of quiet, the way some quiet can be so very loud. I hear my thoughts there in the hollow. It is how I commune.

How I get free.

That is the truest nature of my being—free. Time doesn’t collapse upon itself when it dwells at its fullest—its own spaciousness. Who doesn’t want to be free, including time?

That is what I intend. That is the cultivation of my deepest practices. I practice.

In each moment that I am awake enough, I can hear the call. In every moment of my heart, am I at the ready.

I see the door.

Ajar.

Opening.